A door did open. My bedroom door...at around 11am each day for the next month. My next month would not be spent employed, but following the peaks and troughs of Kevin Arnold and family on The Wonder Years each day! Joining me in this life was my mate Hardsy, also unable to get work, and when Wonder Years would finish, we would hold in depth discussions on the episodes of the day, even giving them a rating out of ten, and comparing them to internet reviews! (By the way, Wayne, Kevin's brother, married a porn star in real life. A bit of pub trivia for you).
After a tough and stressful month, in which a return home was a distinct possibility, I finally hit the jackpot, a recruitment agency that....(deep breath peoples)......called me back, AND answered my calls.....AND got me a job!
The job was nothing special. Taking calls for a recruitment agency. After 2 days of training, I was set, and ready to go! I had just been given my desk, and was all set to put a photo of my family up (well, a photo of The Wonder Years family) and engage in some water cooler talk with colleagues.
Then BANG.....sacked! Laid off after 2 hours due 'budget cuts' (not that I was on good pay!), without once picking up the phone! So I cleared my desk (consisting of one piece of white A4 paper.....blank), and left!
The next day, I was called with another job offer...which somehow ended in a job after some running some of my famous charm at the interview!
THE JOB 2
This job was working at a Wireless Internet provider, who provide WIFI to Mcdonalds, Starbucks, Nintendo, Apple iPhones and airports etc. What do I know about Wireless Internet you say? Zero, and yet they have me taking calls from people who need support and help. This is how a regular call goes...
CALLER: Yes, my wireless modem is not connecting to access point or the router ??????.
ME: ehh, oh right, well have you turned it (I use the ambiguous term "it" to cover my lack of knowledge) on and off again? (at this point I am feeling quite satisfied with my advice to the person...confidant it will fix everything!)
CALLER: Yes, but it is still not working
It is at this point I realise we have passed the extent of my knowledge in this field, and my heart sinks as I access an empty room in my brain for the answer!
ME: Oh, I see...........................................(an awkward silence is created)............................if you will give me your details............(a smaller awkward silence as I plot my next line).............I... will...liase..with...a...technician (hang on I have something here)....and I will get back to you with a resolution (yes, success!)
So while my new job is a lot better than my old job at the gym, I actually have absolutely no idea what I am doing. But they are praising my work, so whatever it is I do, I will keep doing it. I just cant help but feel this is another Seinfeld episode, and I am working on the Penkse file!
All in all, I am a lot more settled, and enjoying myself a lot more now. Managed to get to Ireland for St. Patricks day, and just got back from Newcastle and Sunderland, where I saw Sunderland play Arsenal in the soccer and met up with some mates I met in New York...so things starting to roll along over here....time for some of you jokers to come and visit!